Wednesday 29th August 

Yay, last full treatment today – now only the ‘final five’* left. Skin is a bit tender, especially with clothing against it, but not pink, maybe just a slight suntan.

I’ve also organised ‘Post Radiation Drinks’ to mark the end of treatment.   Just invited a few friends via Facebook and a few from work..and a few others. Hmm, over 40 invited! But I know a lot can’t come. I’ve got 10 confirmed. BCNA are sending me a party pack and I’ve asked for a donation if possible, may as well make it worthwhile, for such a good cause. Might make a little speech, it’s a chance to thank so many who have helped me and supported me so far. I think the lights will be dim and I’ll get lots of candles, that way I don’t have to be so fussy with the housework!  It’s been a good distraction and focus too.

It was good mentally to finish work yesterday for two weeks, but I also had a great day and realized it’s been a really good year working there. I love my job, the variety, the people contact and the counsellors I work with. And their support has been fantastic. I’m also organising a ‘Grand Final Lunch’ later in September at work – a few of us are footy fans (even if our teams won’t be in the final).  Having all the usual footy junk food – party pies, sausage rolls and cocktail frankfurts – no beer though! Everyone will be encouraged to drag out their football gear, badges, scarves and I might even take the Sherrin that’s in the garage.

I need to work more on my blog today and I’m looking forward to acupuncture later this afternoon.

Thursday 30th August

The Onc congratulated me today – said I’m basically through the treatment, she treated the boosters like nothing much. Said I’d done well, so that was nice.

Yesterday the Chinese Medicine Dr was very impressed with me and said I should be the poster girl for radiation!  She also said the walking to treatment was a real boost, boosting my blood and charging it with oxygen. But it just feels good to be out walking and I’ve realized it’s only rained twice during my weeks of treatment and not been heavy, so that’s good.

Needed a sleep today as I didn’t sleep well last night, but it was a good cold day for it.

Friday tomorrow and no work!

Friday 31st August

Didn’t feel like putting up a post today, but decided I was feeling sorry for myself. I asked to see the nurse this morning after noticing I was quite red under my breast last night. The therapists told me I was seeing the nurse as soon as I lay down for treatment. I wondered what that was about. Turns out they were concerned about my nipple. It has been tender the last couple of days, more so when rubbing against fabric. They weren’t impressed that the Dr hadn’t even looked at my breast the last two weeks and said it was starting to break down and I needed a dressing on it. That was no big deal, I just need to wear a bra to hold it in place really. Started wearing the Ah bra as it’s lighter. I’d been braless at night for a couple of months, so it will be weird to be back into one. They are also keeping an eye on the red under the breast and she thinks it may need a dressing soon. Told to only put the sorbelene on that, not calendula. Seems to be some different thoughts between nurses and the doctors there. At least I only have 3 treatments to go. But I have heard of people finishing treatment and their skin is fine, and two weeks later it breaks down, and peels off.  I know I’m being a sook, but I’ll be disappointed if my skin does break down after how careful I’ve been.

I woke with a scratchy throat and felt a bit unwell, so I think that made me feel more blah. Had a lazy day and a sleep today as well.

I’m madly knitting at the moment, trying to finish this scarf I offered to knit our future son in law about a month ago. I at least want him to get a couple of wears out of it!  Hubby had his MRI for his back tonight, a friend and former neighbour took him. They work up till 10pm of an evening, trying to get all patients fitted in.

Think it’s time for bed soon, but loving the Paralympics. So inspiring – I do love any sport. I find myself getting a bit weepy as well. Also at some of the lovely comments people have made on Facebook to me. I am blessed to have such good friends.

Monday 3rd September 

What a glorious morning and a walk down to treatment today. It felt good to be alive. It still does, in fact.  I had to wait about 20 mins today and felt a bit sooky when having treatment, thinking about my skin. Had it dressed, it’s holding up well and the under breast doesn’t need a dressing yet. The nurse has even given me tomorrow ‘off’ from having her do a dressing as I have to have my husband at a city hospital at 10.30am for another appointment and my treatment is at 9.15am.  This isn’t all about me!

I have the feeling like I am ‘leaving’ the hospital now or distancing myself emotionally from it, as treatment comes to an end and I think it will feel a bit strange when I finish. Though apparently they want me to see the Oncologist on Thursday morning now.

I’m so glad I’m not working this week. As my husband said ‘so you can go into your ‘girl cave?’ Just to focus a bit on it all and reflect.

I had coffee with a girlfriend afterwards and it was good. We sat outside and chatted. She’s older and wise and was a real blessing and I left with my spirits lifted. Been for two short walks and written some cards to people and sat out the back by the fish pond in the sun. So lovely. I also bought some pink cups and serviettes for Friday night’s drinks and a pink sheet for a table cloth.

It’s 21 degrees today and gorgeous. Just had a warm flush and hate to think of them in the middle of summer and with Tamoxifen super charging them. Time will tell.

And I finished the scarf – son in law loved it and son wants one for next year.

Tuesday 4th September

I didn’t intend to do a post till tomorrow, but what a day.

Again they were running late at the hospital.  Was over 30 mins late and I got frustrated as we had to leave at 10 to get my husband to his hospital appointment. I ended up with tears sliding down my face during treatment. Just all getting very overwhelming right now.  I think I’ve coped really well, but I’m human and have been through a heck of a lot in the last six months.

I raced out of there as soon as I’d finished and then I had to walk to the car, drove back to get my man as he can’t walk as fast as me. Despite heavy traffic, we got there about 5 minutes before his appointment, and as I was about to drop him at the front door, there was a park waiting for us. Couldn’t have found one any closer! He walked in 10 mins late and as he was bout to check in, the physio walked out and saw him and said ‘oh I was about to call someone else, come in’. We got to see a neurosurgeon this time and he thought the injury looked a bit worse though it feels easier. Basically ‘offered’ surgery, but a 50/50 chance of it working. Not good odds for spinal surgery, are they? He said to let him know in 36 hours!! Don’t know when they could do it but wedding is 8 weeks away.  Pretty frustrating.

We are both not really feeling good about it all right now. He’ll need 6 weeks rehab, 3 months till full recovery and of course they tell you all the things that could go wrong. He’s had acupuncture and got more tomorrow – we’ll sleep on it and not rush any decisions.

This afternoon we went to an outdoor cafe, sat in the sun and had a coffee and just enjoyed the sun. Gorgeous day.

Tomorrow is a whole new day – and my last day of radiotherapy.

Edit: Oh yeah, knew there was something else today. Came home and found a message from a young friend – she has been diagnosed with cervical cancer.  🙁  She has two young boys and wants another baby.  She said I’d been an inspiration and she hoped to draw on some of that and my support when she finds out more and what she has to go through.

Wednesday 5th September

It feels weird. I’ve finished. Almost an anticlimax.

It was a rush today, the weather was wild so I decided to park downstairs at the hospital. Got the second last park down in ‘middle earth’ – which cost $8.50 for 35 minutes!! Even with the patient discount card. I’m so grateful I was well enough to park and walk each day for all of my treatment.

My husband came in and asked all the questions on these five booster treatments I’ve been having. The staff are just brilliant at explaining things. It was over before I knew it. I felt emotional when I first got changed, then just pleased. I saw another nurse this time and she thought my skin looked great and my nipple probably didn’t need dressing.  It looks fine to me too but I still opted to see the nurse upstairs tomorrow  just to be certain.

I took some lovely mixed daffodils for the reception staff and they looked beautiful in a vase on the front counter when I left. I also took a box of chocolates for the therapists. They’ve changed around to mapping and other areas, but apparently they put them in the tea room to share.

I came home to find our front step awash in flowers!!! There was a huge bunch with pink lilies and heavenly scented stocks from all our kids and their partners and a lovely bright arrangement in a box from Mum and Dad.   I was so touched. They will be stunning on Friday night for our ‘pink drinks’. I had lunch and then went for a nap. As you do!

Tonight I’ll have a mini champers to celebrate. And then the next part of the medication treatment begins. How about ‘Trippin’ on Tamoxifen’?

*Final Five.  The last five treatments are ‘targeted’ at what the oncologist called the ‘tumour bed’, so the whole breast isn’t zapped and less chance of burning with these five.

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