Another Thursday, another Doctor’s appointment…or two…

For some reason, that seemed logical at the time, I had looked up some cancer forums for the first time. What I read wasn’t encouraging.  I read stories of women sharing about how sick they were on chemotherapy, getting metallic tastes in their mouths, ulcers and not being able to move off the couch for a week after treatment.  Others mentioned unappealing side effects from hormone therapy.  The stories of radiotherapy were no better.  Burnt, blistered skin; having to wear dressings on this skin and being unable to stand clothing against their skin.  This wasn’t what I need to hear just before going to find out my treatment recommendations.

I decided to focus on the next day and get my reams of paper and information I’d been collecting together and take what I needed for the appointments with the oncologists in the morning.  Not only do I now have a surgeon, but I also have two oncologists – a medical oncologist and a radiation oncologist.

I couldn’t find everything.  I thought I was organized but, no, seemingly important pieces of paper were missing.  I searched through papers on my desk.  Then the stack of stuff by the bed.  My frustration rose as I picked up papers and magazines and slammed them one by one into a pile.  It was recycling that night, so maybe if I got rid of all these papers, what I needed to find would just appear.

I collected the pile and stomped downstairs.  My husband had just come back in from taking the bins out.  Through gritted teeth I said:

I don’t need this crap!!  I didn’t ask for this!!

… and I marched out to the bin on the street.

Hot tears stung my eyes as I thought of the injustice of it all.  I wanted to scream.  Scream at the passing traffic that it wasn’t fair, and why did I have to go through horrible treatments that would do awful things to my body?

I wiped at the tears as I walked back to the house.  My husband was standing at the door, holding it open.  His mouth was hanging open, as if he couldn’t quite believe the scene that had just unfolded before him.

I was in no mood for talking and he knew me well enough to let me calm down first.  After a while he asked me what that was all about and was it directed at him.  I reassured him it wasn’t him.

I guess it was my reaction to what I had read online.  It had been my first real ‘dummy spit’ since diagnosis and surgery. I hadn’t got angry or railed against the unfairness of it all, so far.  I guess I had to break at some point and this seemed to be it.

Thursday morning, the first appointment was 9am with the Medical Oncologist.  The waiting room had empty seats – a good sign.  The breast care nurse Sandra came out to see how I was doing and handed me a clipboard, asking if I’d mind filling out a ‘wellbeing’ survey with questions like ‘how would you describe your feelings right now?’  I suggested it might not be the best day to fill it out.  She looked worried, but saw my smile and I completed it while she chatted.  Another woman came in and sat directly opposite me and chatted to Sandra.  After Sandra left, the other woman came and sat right next to me and talked at me.  I wouldn’t call it a conversation, rather ‘entrapped listening’.  I glanced at the TV.  She talked.  I glanced at my husband.  He had wisely put his headphones on and had his kindle out.  I got mine out and was promptly asked it it was ‘one of those iPad/book things’ by my new friend.   Reading was impossible, so I waited for the next interesting installment she wanted to share with me.  Moving house the week after surgery sounded tough.  But then a move interstate in two months sounded tough too.  She was looking forward to it though.  Apparently that was when her partner got out of detox.  Okay…….

I was relieved to hear my name called.  Dr Wong looked like he graduated from high school last week.  He was very friendly and put us at ease.  I answered the usual questions about my diagnosis and surgery, state of health and then it was down to business.  I told him the name of the Chinese herbs I was currently taking, and with a laugh he said he had no idea what they were!

He had a breast cancer treatment diagnostic tool called Adjuvant! Online.  He used this to determine the best treatment options, based on the information entered into it.  My age was a bonus together with my health and fitness.  The size and grade of the tumour was also loaded into the program.   I was then given percentages of the likelihood of a relapse and mortality after ten years due to the cancer and the improvements of those outcomes, based on hormone therapy and chemotherapy.  In both cases, hormone therapy alone provided a better outcome than chemotherapy alone.  Hormone therapy and chemotherapy together provided a slightly better,  outcome but Dr Wong suggested that the overall benefits didn’t warrant the side effects that chemotherapy produced and advised me to consider not having it. I thought I should include him on my Christmas card list!  So my best treatment options were recommended:  Six weeks radiotherapy followed by five years of hormone therapy.  This is not HRT, (Hormone Replacement Therapy), but a suppressant as estrogen and progesterone had previously fed my tumour and this was something we certainly didn’t want to encourage happening again.

We discussed the two options available – Tamoxifen if menopause had not been reached or aramotase inhibitors if post menopausal.  He wrote me a script for Tamoxifen and told me to come back about 6 weeks after I started it to see how I was going with it.  I didn’t really fancy the side effects of either, both had negatives, but as Tamoxifen had been around a lot longer and the long term side effects better known, I was happier to be prescribed this.  He thought I should start radiotherapy in about 3-4 weeks so I made an appointment to see him again in three months.

I was very relieved to be certain I wouldn’t need chemotherapy and sent a couple of quick texts to family members.  I knew they were sweating on my results.

Next we were off to Peter Mac to meet the radiation oncologist.  We were seen by a radiation therapist who spent ages explaining the treatment, how it would be administered, all the precautions taken and likely side effects.  I would be having 25 treatments, followed by 5 boost treatments.  I would need to attend every week day for 6 weeks.  Sue, the therapist was excellent, very thorough and we were really impressed with her.  She also examined me to see how the healing was going and was reassuring.  We then had to wait to see the oncologist.  She came in and summarized everything in a bored tone and I don’t think we learnt any more from her.

Afterwards, an appointment was made for the following week when ‘mapping’ would take place.  This was planning and modeling to ensure the radiation hit it’s exact target and that my heart and lungs were impacted as little as possible while I was being bombarded with radiation.

Things were moving forward in a positive direction and I was feeling much better about the future.

<<Previous     Next>>

Table Of Contents