19. The Generosity of Friends
I was blown away by the support of friends, just before and immediately after diagnosis and surgery. I didn’t have to cook a meal for two weeks. I had a friend call one night and ask what I would like cooked for dinner. She made a wonderful vegetable frittata and bought smoked salmon to have with it. While she was delivering it another friend dropped in with fresh fruit and a lovely fruit loaf. She apologized she hadn’t cooked, but was just on her way home from work.
People rang, emailed and sent cards. I received over 30 cards from people worldwide. The women’s group I had been a leader of in our church in Dublin sent me a lovely card they had signed. They assured me they were praying for me at Friday’s meeting, which would have been just as I was coming out of surgery.
My knitting group, who are all young Mums, supplied us with meals. I knew how precious and short their time was, so their generosity was extra special. A friend in Queensland sent a ‘care package’ – chocolate and sweets.
Friends who had dealt with cancer wrote and shared their experiences and encouraged me.
The most moving letter I received was from an 8 year old in Ireland called Laura. I had taught Laura in Sunday Club when she was about 6. She was a delightful girl and her Mum had dealt with breast cancer when I was in Ireland.
She had drawn a lovely big sun with a huge smile (and sunglasses) on it’s face and her letter said:
Dear Palm, (obviously this is just how my name sounds when said with an Irish accent!)
I hope you get well soon, do not worry because my Mummy had cancer and she is ok. So you will as well.
Lot of love,
Laura. God Bless
I was moved to tears as I read her letter. So many words had encouraged me, but a little girl had so simply said the most encouraging words, and from her own experience. I stuck her letter on the wall where I could see it every day. Her Mum had told her she was writing to me, so Laura had gone to her room, written the letter and asked her Mum to include it with her card, but gave her instructions to not read it.
My writing group sent a card, telling me I was missing out on a wonderful night of cheese and chocolate by the fire and having a good natured laugh at my expense. I appreciated their light hearted humour and support and looked forward to joining them again.
My running partner gave me an aloe vera plant she had potted. It was such a practical gift and I certainly hoped to make good use of it during my treatment.
I had friends come to visit which I really enjoyed. One friend took me out to a nursery for coffee. It was so lovely to get out of the house. She gave me a practical gift of indulgent toiletries.
I learnt a lot about generosity at this time. I’ve often been the sort of person who ‘means’ to make a meal, write a card or take flowers, but life just seemed too busy sometimes. Now I learnt that I must never be too busy to find time to help and support others. People do it because they care. It’s not ‘too much trouble’. I also learnt that they did it because they cared about me, and that made me feel very special indeed. I learnt that when people say ‘just let me know if there is anything I can do’, they mean it and it’s ok to take up their offer.
So now, when I think I should do something for someone, I am more conscious of acting on it.